


Nothing Cures This Feeling

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Body Image, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Non-gendered body dysphoria, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:52:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Set at some point after C2E33.Nott struggles in the heat of the Menagerie Coast. Caleb helps her as best he can.





	Nothing Cures This Feeling

Everyone seems so distracted by the decadence and the revelations around them that Nott feels sure that she’s hiding the toll well. She feels woozy, more so than she gets from booze nowadays, and her legs have been quivering for at least the last hour. Her bandages are sodden; her sweat saturating the thick fabric, growing heavier by the drop.

She’s had moments of this before—summers where it felt so stifling she felt nausea day after day. But the heat of the Menagerie Coast, especially after enduring the starts of winter up north, is more than she can stand. Caleb sends a message as they’re heading upstairs. “I can see that you’re unwell. Same room? I’ll see if I can help.”

She doesn’t wait for Caleb to enter before she scampers over to the marble floor, ripping her mask off and collapsing sprawled out, cheek pressed against the cool stone below. It isn't as cool as she’d hoped, but anything is better than the screaming heat of her skin.

The door closes with a click and there’s the soft tumble of the lock as Nott hears Caleb take a deep concerned sigh. “Is it a sickness, or are you too warm from being out all day?”

“Too warm,” she says summoning the last of her energy. She closes her eyes.

Caleb’s hand softly touches her face, feeling for her temperature before he lets out another concerned sigh. “There’s baths in these rooms. We could ask them to draw you a cool bath—it would help cool you down quicker.”

“No.” Nott’s voice slips sharply. “No water. Can’t deal with water too.” Or the nakedness she thinks to herself—that’s more the issue. The idea of being alone with this body makes her feel a fresh wave of nausea and she struggles not to gag.

“That’s okay, that’s okay.” Nott feels Caleb’s presence move away as she hears him opening all of the windows whilst he draws the curtains shut. The night breeze is refreshing as it sways the long curtains.

Caleb walks back to Nott and sits next to her whilst he holds out his flask, looking expectant. The idea of lifting her head to drink her neck to drink felt too much for her spinning head, but Caleb’s hand remains there. After a moment, she sits up and drinks from the vessel—it was near to full and she drains the water in a few deep swigs. “Sorry,” she says weakly as she withdraws.

“No, it’s fine. You needed it.”

Nott slides back down to the floor and takes a deep breath, letting the slight chill of the air fill her lungs.

“You’re not going to like what I’m going to say next.” Nott opens her eyes and looks up at Caleb, staring off into the mid-distance with his mouth pressed together in a terse line. “This is too much,” he captures the fabric of her cloak between his fingers and thumb to demonstrate. “Cloak and the bandages at least, they’re making you far too warm. At least until you cool down,” he pleads ever so gently. “You look very sick with the heat. I don’t think I’ve seen you look this sick.” 

Caleb at least has the good grace to stay looking away at the window as Nott feels the hot tears prick up against the corners of her eyes. She knows all of this. She went very faint a couple of times in the summer, and Caleb helped her then. But that was before the rest of the Mighty Nein—they’d always have the opportunity to stop and let Nott cool down without drawing attention to anyone besides each other. Nott hates the attention; she looks after people, not the other way around. And now she’s lying woozy on the floor crying about taking off a fucking cloak, it’s pathetic and she hates it.

“Okay,” she says quietly. “Cloak and bandages. Nothing else.” She goes to untie the front and her hands are shaking; she’s struggling to summon the strength to untie the too tight knot.

“Would you—?” Caleb doesn’t clarify as Nott’s face crumples and she nods, moving her hands away and replaced by Caleb’s own.

He makes quick work of the lacing, and Nott shifts to allow him to pull the cloak off her, and he folds it in a pile next to her, placing the long-forgotten porcelain mask on top. Caleb pauses when he reaches the bandages across her neckline and down her arms. He gently runs his thumb over the fabric. There’s much more than usual, and Nott sees the furrow of his frown as he looks over them. “The old lady could see the other day,” she offers by way of explanation, her voice shaky as she tries to avoid a complete descent into tears. 

He unties those too, slowly unravelling them until her left arm is free; her skin is soft and moist from the day’s sweat. Next, the right arm is freed and Nott lies her forearms against the marble floor. Her skin crawls with being so exposed, but the cool stone against her damp skin feels refreshing. It takes some time for Caleb to unravel those but when she’d free she turns over and lies on her front, pressing her body onto the floor again and tries not to think about how stripped she is. The bandages at her ankles are slipped off until she’s free of all bindings, just her shirt and trousers remaining. It’s by no means bare, but she feels it compared to the layers she had on before.

Whilst she focuses on steady breathing and lets the cool night air hit her skin, Caleb walks up to bed and retrieves a pile of pillows and silken sheets.

“Might be cooler if we sleep near the window. I’ll make a nest for us, ja?”

He spends the next 20 minutes methodically arranging the pillows and silken sheets into a soft looking huddle on the floor. As cool as the stone feels beneath her skin, Nott prefers not to sleep on such a hard surface so it does look promising. When he’s finished, she shimmies onto the corner, and thankfully the feeling of the silks is also cool to her touch. 

Caleb offers a small smile when he’s done before kicking off his boots and setting up the thread around them. He removes the rest of his clothing without a care until he’s down to his underwear and the small glint of the chain around his neck as he lies down next to Nott. “Even I was getting quite warm in my coat. Don’t know how you managed this all day.”

Nott makes a soft noise, and she lies on her side facing the covered window, feeling the light breeze on her face. She’s not sure how long she rests there, forcing every thought out of her head aside from the enjoyment of the fresh air. If she lets her brain wander anywhere else, she’d start ruminating on all the things she’s spent the day obsessing over.

With a soft touch, Nott feels Caleb move the wild spill of hair over her shoulder exposing her neck to the night air. She sighs contently before she feels warm air over her skin, followed slowly by the soft tug of Caleb’s beard—growing in once more—and his lips against her neck. He does the same a fraction lower and again, all the way down her neck and a little down her back, lips pressed to the fabric of her shirt. “Thank you for letting me look after you for a change.”

She shudders a little, cheeks burning up once more but for a different reason than before. He’s been doing a lot of this lately—kisses and gentle touches. It’s not that they didn’t before, but some kind of barrier has been broken and it feels different now—before it was friendly. He’s comfortable being physically affectionate, even in front of other people, holding her close and kissing her cheek. He lets people make assumptions about what they are too, she’s noticed; he never joins in when Nott tries to correct them. 

Its movement is slow. No kisses yet but there are times when he looks at her, eyes wide and shyly smiling, that she thinks he wants to. It makes Nott feel a little sick. The greedy part of her wants everything from him possessively. The rest of her recoils at the idea of gentle Caleb kissing A Thing. Caleb deserves a proper match, and he’s so clearly craving affection.

A sorrowful part of her hopes that Jester hears word of Astrid soon.

She turns over, looking at Caleb face to face. “Thank you,” she whispers.

He lets out another small smile. “No problem. Are you feeling better? You’re looking far more like yourself again.”

Nott nods, “Yeah, I’m actually kind of getting a little chilly now.” They both chuckle softly.

“Come here.” He pulls a thin satin quilt over the two of them, settling closer to Nott before lying on his back and looking upwards. Nott wriggles her way closer to Caleb, settling in the crook of his arm.

The thing that Nott likes the most about Caleb when he tries to help her is that he doesn’t sit and plead with her that she’s beautiful; an uncomfortable reflex like Jester can’t help but do because she cares. He helps her wait these moods out and watches over her when she’s too frail to watch out for him. Caleb knows all too well the feeling of being crippled by a feeling you can’t control.

Several hours later she finally sleeps, lying in the blank trance after she forces herself into to stop her brain whirring. Nothing cures this feeling, but this helps.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been MIA for the last few months as life has been rather intense, but I'm back to writing again. Have a couple of drabbles and some porn coming up soon, life permitting.


End file.
